Obedience

Have you ever wondered where God would blow you as He leads you in life?


Have you ever wondered if having to bail water out of your boat is really part of His plan? So many people tell us that if we are following God's will, our sails shouldn't have holes and our boat shouldn't leak.

What I wasn't able to get a picture of was these two guys paddling against the waves to reach wherever their next designation was. The wind was strong that day and they had to work hard. It was a great reminder to me that God's directions aren't always easy to follow. If they were, everyone would be doing it. But even Jesus describes the journey as being along a "narrow path" and taking up a cross - He definitely never promised us a rose garden.
I would like to be completely honest about how we're doing. I know I've said it before, but this is hard - much harder than I/we expected. We have struggled to the point that we went to our Central Region Conference two weeks ago prepared to ask for some changes in assignments; even considering going back home as an option. Knowing that the place to which we plan to go later this year will be much more difficult on many levels, we were hoping to be able to back out of that commitment for the sake of my sanity. Even as I write this, it's humbling to admit. Because, compared to other missionaries around the world, I have very little to complain about.

Our Regional Conference kicked off in Jinja (the adventure capital of Uganda) on a Wednesday night. They showed a recruitment video in its final stages of editing and a pastor from Congo was quoted to have said, "Missionaries used to love us and were willing to suffer with us." This hit my heart like a dagger. Prior to conference we had written our TIMO directors and shared with them our concerns/fears/hesitations about TIMO. Before the first meeting, we received an email response asking us, "What has changed in your calling?" (meaning our calling to go on to the next assignment). When we thought about the answer to the question, it was a sobering thought. For me, I didn't want to go because the electricity is intermittent at best (we're talking - off for 3-5 days then on for 1), running water depends on electricity, rats in abundance, Dara being the oldest (by far) on the team, no local grocery stores, and a tough curriculum for us to follow in addition to homeschooling and managing a household in a rough place. I didn't want to do it! Joel's issue came down to the rats and his concern for how well we would function as a family in such tough conditions - but mainly the rats!!!!

So take our reasons for not wanting to go somewhere else (this has been difficult enough without adding the above mentioned things) and then listen again to what that Congolese pastor from the video said, "they used to love us and were willing to suffer with us." How can I say, "I don't want to go because it will be too hard."? I had convinced myself that I had already obeyed enough - is there ever an end to obedience?

The next morning (Thursday) we had a time of worship where you could just feel God's presence. We both had very intimate times with God where we asked direct questions and got direct answers. Basically, we both realized that God was reminding us of His call on our lives to obedience. That's it! Pretty simple, huh?

Our pastor gave an analogy once of a little boy happily sitting by the curb playing in the dirt. The boy was content and happy where he was playing. His father came along in a car and said, "Hop in! I've got somewhere I want to take you." The boy sweetly declined and kept playing in the dirt - happy as can be. But what he didn't know is that his father had wanted to take him to Disney World. If only he had been willing to go when his father asked...

For me, I want to be exactly where God wants us. You may have heard people say, "There's no better/safer place to be then in the center of God's will." It sounds so clicheish, but that's where we want to be. We know it won't be the safest place or the most convenient, or the most desirable, or the most luxurious......but it will be His will!

We were blessed to visit with old friends and make some new ones - all of who encouraged us and/or pushed us to make a choice to obey. I am surprised at how excited I am about going, even though a few weeks ago I would have smiled sweetly and said there was no way I would be going on that team. There is an excitement that comes from obedience that is simply wonderful. Please pray that we will continue to dwell on the reason we are going - to share God's love with a people who have not heard of Him, and that we won't focus on those things that cause us to be afraid.

I tell you all of this for several reasons. One of which is that the place where we will be going is closed to missionaries. Many of you already know this. For our safety (and our teammate's)and the safety of those who will one day become Christians, we need to do all that we can to not be associated with a Christian organization. We have been asked to become "invisible" to the outside world. Very soon, we will have to ask individuals and churches to remove us from web pages. It will also mean we will need to lock our blog soon. The timing on all of that is dependent on us receiving confirmation from TIMO. We originally thought it would be around February 1st. But, with recent developments, that may get pushed to March or April. We are asking those that want to still view our blog after we have locked it, to please email us at jillss@sbcglobal.net or joelws@sbcglobal.net and please include your name, email(s), and how you know us. (obviously, mom, you don't have to tell me how I know you :) We hope to have our "allowed user" list in place before we lock it so it will be seamless for many of you.

I'm sure there will be a learning curve as we adjust yet again, but we have time. I have written this from my perspective, but Joel has read it (and added his words where appropriate) and these are his thoughts too. Please pray for us, we don't want to get out of the boat before the time is right.

We don't want our boat to be sinking and covered in brush. Can a boat like this reach anyone?