Prior to one of my patients' surgery, we had a little talk about life and death. It's not always easy to ask someone who may not survive the day about their thoughts on dying. Usually they have a lot on their minds (and thinking about the high probability of dying isn't high on their to-do list). But I kind of figure this may be their last time to talk about these things, and I usually get the question into our conversations in some fashion. This sweet man assured me he knows where he is going, and that he is a Baptist. I told him that I, too, attend a Baptist church, and as a Christian I feel better knowing where my patients stand in their eternal security. He was grateful and our day went on. (He did fine. God is good!) This was a nice release for me, and I was so thankful for his confidence. The hard ones are the ones that say "Yes, I know I'm going to heaven. I'm a good person." I just want to get really close, make great eye contact and say, "It's not enough to be good. We can't be good enough." It's hard to do, some patients leave room for conversation, but many don't.
It's not easy to know what to say and when to say it. For some people it comes more naturally (maybe practice makes perfect). I ponder conversations for a couple of days; replaying them over and over again in my mind. "Should I have pushed more for a deeper conversation? Should I have brought it up again at another time? Did I miss something that would have helped?" And I wonder what kind of missionary I'll be. When I had a patient say that she did want to invite Jesus into her life, I about passed out! I'm not sure if anyone has stammered through the sinner's prayer like we did. I pray every time I drive to work that my patients will be aware of God's love through me, and when it happens in the greatest way - I am totally surprised. Talk about little faith!
I don't want this to be long, but I do want the few people who will read this to pray for me to be bold and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading in my words. I just want them to be His words (many of you know that mine come out awfully fast at times) and said in His timing. Thanks. I am so glad that He wants even me.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Dade - A New Creation!!!!
Praise God! Dade asked Jesus into his heart on June 30th! As I finished praying with Dade Saturday night I asked him if he thought he would want to ask Jesus into his heart one day. He just shook his head "yes" and said, "Jesus, please come into my heart." What a sweet, sweet child like prayer. Of course, being the typical parent, I had to go through all the questions again to make sure he knew what he was doing....
"Dade, why do you need Jesus?"
"Sin"
"What is sin?"
"Bad things I do - like hitting and lying."
"What did God do for us?"
"Sent Jesus - he died on the cross you know."
"Why do you need to believe in Jesus?"
"He takes away the black." (That's his way of saying sin)
"Do you want to pray and ask Jesus to forgive you and tell Him you believe in Him?"
"Yes - but can we get Mommy and Dara to pray with us too?"
What a sweet little boy! While he may not understand all the details of His faith, he knows that he needs Jesus and knows that he must believe He is God's son. It is very humbling as a parent to see both your kids come to know Christ. I praise God that he allowed Jill to lead Dara to Christ and me to lead Dade to Christ. What an AWESOME privilege! It makes you feel like in spite of all the stuff you do wrong as a parent, that you must be doing something right. For all of you who have prayed for our childrens' salvation, thank you! Your prayers were heard and answered. Now, we would ask you to continue praying that they would grow in their walks and in their faith.
"Dade, why do you need Jesus?"
"Sin"
"What is sin?"
"Bad things I do - like hitting and lying."
"What did God do for us?"
"Sent Jesus - he died on the cross you know."
"Why do you need to believe in Jesus?"
"He takes away the black." (That's his way of saying sin)
"Do you want to pray and ask Jesus to forgive you and tell Him you believe in Him?"
"Yes - but can we get Mommy and Dara to pray with us too?"
What a sweet little boy! While he may not understand all the details of His faith, he knows that he needs Jesus and knows that he must believe He is God's son. It is very humbling as a parent to see both your kids come to know Christ. I praise God that he allowed Jill to lead Dara to Christ and me to lead Dade to Christ. What an AWESOME privilege! It makes you feel like in spite of all the stuff you do wrong as a parent, that you must be doing something right. For all of you who have prayed for our childrens' salvation, thank you! Your prayers were heard and answered. Now, we would ask you to continue praying that they would grow in their walks and in their faith.
Travel Anxiety
Next Tuesday, we are taking the kids and heading to San Diego. We have a convention to go to and dad thought it would be fun to bring mom, Jill, and the kids along for some down time. While I am excited about having my family travel with me, we have discovered much anxiety over the packing and logistics of the trip.
I think it has intensified a bit since we have been following the progress of our future TIMO leaders. They just arrived in Kenya with their three little ones and judging by their blog updates, it was quite a trip with many blessings. I know it may not make a lot of sense, but somehow reading about their travel adventures and their arrival in Africa has made the reality set in a little more. We can relate to the feelings they express - in the sadness of leaving and the joy of going where He has called us. It has been such a blessing to both of us to be able to follow their journey through their blog. It helps us view our feelings as normal, as they too experience many of the same emotions we feel or know we will feel before we leave.
We laugh a lot as we think of what we need to pack for a week long trip across the country. We laugh as we stress over what to bring and what to leave. We laugh as we worry about how many suitcases we will need or what we need to pack in carry on bags for the kids. We laugh because we know that in 18 months, we must pack differently. We laugh because we know that the things we see now as neccessities, will become luxuries we can live without when we pack for Africa. We laugh because we realize that we may wear the same shorts or same shirt for weeks on end. We laugh because we know that much of "our" space will be filled with those things that will make Dara and Dade more comfortable and will help them adjust to life in a new country. We laugh because we know that as we sit and stress, God has already worked out all the details. We look forward to His plan and His timing.
I think it has intensified a bit since we have been following the progress of our future TIMO leaders. They just arrived in Kenya with their three little ones and judging by their blog updates, it was quite a trip with many blessings. I know it may not make a lot of sense, but somehow reading about their travel adventures and their arrival in Africa has made the reality set in a little more. We can relate to the feelings they express - in the sadness of leaving and the joy of going where He has called us. It has been such a blessing to both of us to be able to follow their journey through their blog. It helps us view our feelings as normal, as they too experience many of the same emotions we feel or know we will feel before we leave.
We laugh a lot as we think of what we need to pack for a week long trip across the country. We laugh as we stress over what to bring and what to leave. We laugh as we worry about how many suitcases we will need or what we need to pack in carry on bags for the kids. We laugh because we know that in 18 months, we must pack differently. We laugh because we know that the things we see now as neccessities, will become luxuries we can live without when we pack for Africa. We laugh because we realize that we may wear the same shorts or same shirt for weeks on end. We laugh because we know that much of "our" space will be filled with those things that will make Dara and Dade more comfortable and will help them adjust to life in a new country. We laugh because we know that as we sit and stress, God has already worked out all the details. We look forward to His plan and His timing.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Swimming Pool Memories
Summer is here and we finally got the pool set up in the backyard. What a wonderful experience that was - and yes, the sarcasm is heavy about now! I hope the laughter it generates will truly brighten your day. There is absolutely no spiritual wisdom here, just insight into the mind of a stubborn, hard headed, naive man. This is a rather long story, so if you are short for time, come back later to read it or print it out and enjoy it at your leisure.
This past weekend seemed like the perfect time to set up the "Easy Set" pool we purchased last year. DANGER, DANGER!!! Anything that says "easy" in the product name can't be easy! The kids were asking a lot lately and our weekends had been such a blur, so with a free day looming, I decided to buckle down and get it done. After begging a local floor store for all their old scraps to use as padding, Jill and I lugged the pool from the garage and immediately began looking for the tarp. I found one in the garage, only to realize it was a tad too small to cover our little mulch pile; which brings me to the next hiccup in this plan. Jill, ever so sweetly, suggested that since I had decided to stock pile mulch in the area where we set up the pool, it would work better if I raked it first. With much hesitation (and minor grumbling) I raked all the mulch out of the area wondering why in the tarnation we bought a 18' pool and wondering why I didn't insist on a concrete pad, instead of piles of mulch. Concrete is pretty too, right?
Once the raking was done, forgetting I had already tried it, I laid out the tarp again, only to find it was still too small for the area - so off to Home Depot I went. Jill and the kids had a party to go to, so I had two hours to get this task completed. And yes, at this point, I was still thinking 2 hours was more than enough time to get the pool set up, get the water running, and be resting on the couch by the time the family arrived. My daydream was interruppted by the astounding price tag of $50 for a tarp large enough to cover our giant 18' circle! I was about ready to walk out the door, but the cheap side of me kicked in. I realized it could be $50 now or $300 later if the pool sprung a leak. As I grumbled driving home, the enjoyment of this project was slipping away.
I got back to the house, laid out the tarp and what do you know - now I had a tarp large enough to cover the area of two pools! With a "better safe than sorry" attitude, I pulled up the tarp, laid out the carpet and realized there was another problem. If I doubled up the tarp, it would be too small - that meant I had to get creative with the excess. I wish you could have seen inside my mind at that moment. I visualized the tarp tucked backed under the carpet, all the edges straight and smooth as butter (too bad we don't have a good digital camera to show you the final results - all of that money paid for this "easy" pool!). I think this was the moment that I realized getting the pool up was a neccessity - not because of my dream of having it completed, but because I had no intention of Jill or the kids seeing the incredible mess I had hiding under 5000 gallons of water.
I had to get the pool laid out. If you've every lifted one of these pools by yourself, they aren't the lightest backyard accessories available! In my infinite wisdom, I just knew that dragging it to the middle was the best idea. See where this is going? A tarp that isn't staked down DOES move when a 60 lb vinly pool is dragged across it. After two more tries, I finally realized the problem (yes, it really did take me two more tries to catch on) and hefted it to the middle before dropping it into place. At this point, I am sweating so much I feel like grabbing the kids' swim goggles so I can see clearly. I get the pool in place and begin fitting the poles together. I'm sure the neighbors (if they were still watching at this point) were rolling on the ground laughing. If I hadn't been so frustrated, I might have joined them - and charged admission to pay for the $50 tarp. Picture this.....a 34 year old man, slightly out of shape, sweat pouring down his head, putting a pole in place and running back to get another one before the first one fell over. I think there are probably 20 poles that go around the pool, so picture this happening at least 2 to 3 times per pole. It felt like an old "I Love Lucy" rerun. With the pool finally complete, I climbed in, and began to straighten out any bumps or creases. However, it seemed that when I folded the tarp back to get it to fit my smaller area, it made the metal rings that you would normally stake it down with, rest in the middle of the pool. Metal on vinyl....not a good thing! At this point, I put it out of my mind and kept on straightening (this issue will appear again - keep reading).
I still had to patch the hole that my brother-in-law's dog chewed in it during their Christmas visit. So, imgaine a sweaty man leaning over a small hole, trying to apply contact cement to a piece of vinyl that is slipping through his fingers and trying to get it on the hole before it dries. I climbed out with all the extra patch material attached to my hand (at least my hand won't leak) and made it inside just in time to dry myself off, sit on the couch, and appear completely relaxed by the time my family walked back in the door (Jill would say she thought I was dead by the way I looked - but "relaxed" has a much better ring to it).
As the kids begged to start putting the water in , I was relived to read that the patch had to dry for 12 hours before adding water. So with much ado, I blamed it on those darn patch makers and their crazy rules and settled in for the evening. After a tortuous night of sleep I awoke the next morning to a gentle nudging reminder (and a stiff back) that I would have to do something about the metal rings in the tarp before filling the pool with water. I told you those metal rings would come into play again.
So, there I was on Sunday morning, hurting all over, cutting carpet pieces that would cover a small 2 inch metal ring. After covering all the rings and straigtening back out the liner, it appeared I was on the downside of this battle. Finally, the water was running and the kids were all smiles, dreaming of playing in their pool after church and Sunday naps. I wish that was the end of the story, but unfortuantely, there are a couple more important details to help you get the full experience.
As the pool finally filled up late Sunday evening, I began hooking up the filter pump and the hoses. I pulled the safety plugs and water began filling up the hose....and drenching my legs! At first, I couldn't figure out where the water was coming from, but it didn't take me long to see a row of 5 holes in the intake hose that was watering my wondeful new $50 tarp. So off to WalMart I went to purchase new hoses for, what is now turning out to be, a sizeable investment. With new hoses intact, I added chlorine, turned on the pump and let it run.
Monday evening (Jill was working all day at the hospital), I picked the kids up from my mom's and off we went. They behaved better for me on that short trip than any I can remember recently, due to the threat that any bad bahavior would jeopardize their swim time for the evening. Before I could even get my truck unloaded, Dara was dancing aorund in her swimsuit and Dade was standing by the toilet with two legs coming out of the same leg hole of his swimsuit saying, "Daddy, I weady!" After almost an hour of wonderful fun, swimming and splashing around, we proceeded inside to get baths started, eat dinner, and wind down for the evening.
Prior to heading in, I decided to check the chemicals. After getting good results that morning, the chlorine was now almost non-existent. I decided that it would be wise to add another bag of shock and maybe a little Ph Up to help balance things out (like I really know what Ph is, much less what Ph Up does). After mommy got home and the kiddos were tucked in, I went back out to check on my project with a pride in my step, remembering the fun we just had and picturing many more evenings of pool fun before dinner, only to find a cloudy bowl of water that I couldn't even see the bottom of. So, needless to say, I left for work this morning a little disillusioned with the novelty of "Easy Set" pools and why they call them "easy" at all!
This past weekend seemed like the perfect time to set up the "Easy Set" pool we purchased last year. DANGER, DANGER!!! Anything that says "easy" in the product name can't be easy! The kids were asking a lot lately and our weekends had been such a blur, so with a free day looming, I decided to buckle down and get it done. After begging a local floor store for all their old scraps to use as padding, Jill and I lugged the pool from the garage and immediately began looking for the tarp. I found one in the garage, only to realize it was a tad too small to cover our little mulch pile; which brings me to the next hiccup in this plan. Jill, ever so sweetly, suggested that since I had decided to stock pile mulch in the area where we set up the pool, it would work better if I raked it first. With much hesitation (and minor grumbling) I raked all the mulch out of the area wondering why in the tarnation we bought a 18' pool and wondering why I didn't insist on a concrete pad, instead of piles of mulch. Concrete is pretty too, right?
Once the raking was done, forgetting I had already tried it, I laid out the tarp again, only to find it was still too small for the area - so off to Home Depot I went. Jill and the kids had a party to go to, so I had two hours to get this task completed. And yes, at this point, I was still thinking 2 hours was more than enough time to get the pool set up, get the water running, and be resting on the couch by the time the family arrived. My daydream was interruppted by the astounding price tag of $50 for a tarp large enough to cover our giant 18' circle! I was about ready to walk out the door, but the cheap side of me kicked in. I realized it could be $50 now or $300 later if the pool sprung a leak. As I grumbled driving home, the enjoyment of this project was slipping away.
I got back to the house, laid out the tarp and what do you know - now I had a tarp large enough to cover the area of two pools! With a "better safe than sorry" attitude, I pulled up the tarp, laid out the carpet and realized there was another problem. If I doubled up the tarp, it would be too small - that meant I had to get creative with the excess. I wish you could have seen inside my mind at that moment. I visualized the tarp tucked backed under the carpet, all the edges straight and smooth as butter (too bad we don't have a good digital camera to show you the final results - all of that money paid for this "easy" pool!). I think this was the moment that I realized getting the pool up was a neccessity - not because of my dream of having it completed, but because I had no intention of Jill or the kids seeing the incredible mess I had hiding under 5000 gallons of water.
I had to get the pool laid out. If you've every lifted one of these pools by yourself, they aren't the lightest backyard accessories available! In my infinite wisdom, I just knew that dragging it to the middle was the best idea. See where this is going? A tarp that isn't staked down DOES move when a 60 lb vinly pool is dragged across it. After two more tries, I finally realized the problem (yes, it really did take me two more tries to catch on) and hefted it to the middle before dropping it into place. At this point, I am sweating so much I feel like grabbing the kids' swim goggles so I can see clearly. I get the pool in place and begin fitting the poles together. I'm sure the neighbors (if they were still watching at this point) were rolling on the ground laughing. If I hadn't been so frustrated, I might have joined them - and charged admission to pay for the $50 tarp. Picture this.....a 34 year old man, slightly out of shape, sweat pouring down his head, putting a pole in place and running back to get another one before the first one fell over. I think there are probably 20 poles that go around the pool, so picture this happening at least 2 to 3 times per pole. It felt like an old "I Love Lucy" rerun. With the pool finally complete, I climbed in, and began to straighten out any bumps or creases. However, it seemed that when I folded the tarp back to get it to fit my smaller area, it made the metal rings that you would normally stake it down with, rest in the middle of the pool. Metal on vinyl....not a good thing! At this point, I put it out of my mind and kept on straightening (this issue will appear again - keep reading).
I still had to patch the hole that my brother-in-law's dog chewed in it during their Christmas visit. So, imgaine a sweaty man leaning over a small hole, trying to apply contact cement to a piece of vinyl that is slipping through his fingers and trying to get it on the hole before it dries. I climbed out with all the extra patch material attached to my hand (at least my hand won't leak) and made it inside just in time to dry myself off, sit on the couch, and appear completely relaxed by the time my family walked back in the door (Jill would say she thought I was dead by the way I looked - but "relaxed" has a much better ring to it).
As the kids begged to start putting the water in , I was relived to read that the patch had to dry for 12 hours before adding water. So with much ado, I blamed it on those darn patch makers and their crazy rules and settled in for the evening. After a tortuous night of sleep I awoke the next morning to a gentle nudging reminder (and a stiff back) that I would have to do something about the metal rings in the tarp before filling the pool with water. I told you those metal rings would come into play again.
So, there I was on Sunday morning, hurting all over, cutting carpet pieces that would cover a small 2 inch metal ring. After covering all the rings and straigtening back out the liner, it appeared I was on the downside of this battle. Finally, the water was running and the kids were all smiles, dreaming of playing in their pool after church and Sunday naps. I wish that was the end of the story, but unfortuantely, there are a couple more important details to help you get the full experience.
As the pool finally filled up late Sunday evening, I began hooking up the filter pump and the hoses. I pulled the safety plugs and water began filling up the hose....and drenching my legs! At first, I couldn't figure out where the water was coming from, but it didn't take me long to see a row of 5 holes in the intake hose that was watering my wondeful new $50 tarp. So off to WalMart I went to purchase new hoses for, what is now turning out to be, a sizeable investment. With new hoses intact, I added chlorine, turned on the pump and let it run.
Monday evening (Jill was working all day at the hospital), I picked the kids up from my mom's and off we went. They behaved better for me on that short trip than any I can remember recently, due to the threat that any bad bahavior would jeopardize their swim time for the evening. Before I could even get my truck unloaded, Dara was dancing aorund in her swimsuit and Dade was standing by the toilet with two legs coming out of the same leg hole of his swimsuit saying, "Daddy, I weady!" After almost an hour of wonderful fun, swimming and splashing around, we proceeded inside to get baths started, eat dinner, and wind down for the evening.
Prior to heading in, I decided to check the chemicals. After getting good results that morning, the chlorine was now almost non-existent. I decided that it would be wise to add another bag of shock and maybe a little Ph Up to help balance things out (like I really know what Ph is, much less what Ph Up does). After mommy got home and the kiddos were tucked in, I went back out to check on my project with a pride in my step, remembering the fun we just had and picturing many more evenings of pool fun before dinner, only to find a cloudy bowl of water that I couldn't even see the bottom of. So, needless to say, I left for work this morning a little disillusioned with the novelty of "Easy Set" pools and why they call them "easy" at all!
Friday, June 1, 2007
Weeds
Weeds....they just creep into everything and take over if left unattended. Several things lately have led me to analogies using weeds....just thought I'd share with ya'll.
Jill has taken such care in cultivating the flower beds around our house. My parents surprised her last June with a freshly laid lawn over our dry, dusty (and when it rains - mud pit) backyard and some new flower beds next to the house. She has taken such great care of all of it. She weeds them, waters them, and plants new life when the old life dies (just a hint.....buy at Home Depot.....they take dead plants back for up to a year). When our schedules get hectic around here, we find that the flower beds go unattended. Sure enough, these little weeds start creeping in. Still not sure where they come from, but almost overnight, they appear, which results in hours of pulling up these little stragglers. She has trained me well. About once a week, I'll stop and weed around the front steps or around the bird feeder when I get home from work.
But....sometimes I get a little ambitious and hurried and don't pay attention to what I'm doing (especially when the weed eater is in my hands). I have been known on occassion to cut down a Morning Glory or two and I think I even killed a Rose Bush once (or three times, but whose counting anyway?). It's the same with the kids. Sometimes they will get out there and "help" with the flower beds and before you know it one of our little angels is holding a flower in their hands asking "is this a weed?"
I think too often we look at things the same way. God takes us into the garden to show us all the beautiful things He has created. Sometimes we run ahead of Him and start pulling what we think are weeds, but are actually beautiful flowers waiting to bloom. Other times, we find a weed, but we don't pull it up by the roots and just rip off what's seen above the surface, without realizing these will only grow back in time.
We know we are in a weeding out process in our lives. God is preparing us for Tanzania and we have to walk patiently with Him right now. We have to turn to Him to show us where the weeds are hiding. We have to rely on His wisdom to help us determine the difference between the weeds and the flowers. We have to trust that He will guard our steps from the snakes that may be lurking under a bush. We have to know that He will give us the strength to pull the weeds of our lives out by the roots.
Walk in the garden with Him. Let Him quietly point out the rare flowers you didn't even know existed. Sit with Him while He plants the new life that He wants to see grow. Learn how to cultivate the soil that the roots will take. Watch how He waters it faithfully each day. I know "He is the potter and we are the clay," but I also like to think that He is the gardner and we are His garden!
Jill has taken such care in cultivating the flower beds around our house. My parents surprised her last June with a freshly laid lawn over our dry, dusty (and when it rains - mud pit) backyard and some new flower beds next to the house. She has taken such great care of all of it. She weeds them, waters them, and plants new life when the old life dies (just a hint.....buy at Home Depot.....they take dead plants back for up to a year). When our schedules get hectic around here, we find that the flower beds go unattended. Sure enough, these little weeds start creeping in. Still not sure where they come from, but almost overnight, they appear, which results in hours of pulling up these little stragglers. She has trained me well. About once a week, I'll stop and weed around the front steps or around the bird feeder when I get home from work.
But....sometimes I get a little ambitious and hurried and don't pay attention to what I'm doing (especially when the weed eater is in my hands). I have been known on occassion to cut down a Morning Glory or two and I think I even killed a Rose Bush once (or three times, but whose counting anyway?). It's the same with the kids. Sometimes they will get out there and "help" with the flower beds and before you know it one of our little angels is holding a flower in their hands asking "is this a weed?"
I think too often we look at things the same way. God takes us into the garden to show us all the beautiful things He has created. Sometimes we run ahead of Him and start pulling what we think are weeds, but are actually beautiful flowers waiting to bloom. Other times, we find a weed, but we don't pull it up by the roots and just rip off what's seen above the surface, without realizing these will only grow back in time.
We know we are in a weeding out process in our lives. God is preparing us for Tanzania and we have to walk patiently with Him right now. We have to turn to Him to show us where the weeds are hiding. We have to rely on His wisdom to help us determine the difference between the weeds and the flowers. We have to trust that He will guard our steps from the snakes that may be lurking under a bush. We have to know that He will give us the strength to pull the weeds of our lives out by the roots.
Walk in the garden with Him. Let Him quietly point out the rare flowers you didn't even know existed. Sit with Him while He plants the new life that He wants to see grow. Learn how to cultivate the soil that the roots will take. Watch how He waters it faithfully each day. I know "He is the potter and we are the clay," but I also like to think that He is the gardner and we are His garden!
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