Dear Friend

Accountability is one of my passions. There is a small group of men that Jill knows she can call if I were to ever step out of line or stray in my walk with God. These are men who would drop what they were doing and travel however far to pray with me, love me and rebuke me.

Back several months ago, I received an email from one of these dear friends. I’ve often thought of my relationship with these men like the one David and Jonathan had. There is a genuine love for one another that time and distance can’t remove. We have climbed with each other to the high peaks and traveled with each other into the dark valleys. There has always been a connection between us from the first day I met each of them. We are so alike and few people understand me the way these men do.

I’ve asked permission to share some snippits from an email I received from one of them….

“I have neglected my spiritual well being for far too long. I know that my true peace, joy, and contentment are directionally proportional to the quality of my relationship with Christ. I am a weak, selfish, lazy, impatient, moody, angry, insecure, and sometimes a disgusting human being. However, God's grace covers me. His love heals me. His unending power strengthens me and His son has saved me. Apart from Him I am a shell, but with Him I am whole. I cannot add to my life. Only God can add to my life. I would fill my life with things. God wants to fill my life with eternal treasures---peace, love, joy, faith, hope, contentment, and wisdom. I can't out give God--can't out do Him, can't out love Him, can't out give Him and I can't out live Him. I can't stop Him, I can't resist Him, I can't fight Him, and I can't out think Him. I can't manipulate Him, convince Him, or surprise Him. I can ONLY trust Him, believe Him, seek Him, and LOVE HIM. I complicate. He simplifies. I tarnish. He purifies. I fall short. He delivers. I think small. His thoughts encompass eternity. I wish for petty things. He offers blessings beyond my imagination. He only asks that I love Him--to yield myself to Him. The feast is set and I have refused to eat. My cries for His forgiveness were heard before I thought of them. He has and will forever see His child as he looks upon me. I have and will forever more be held by His hands. I have struggled and I will struggle. I have fallen and will fall again. However, my life will never be my own.”

This caught me off guard. I knew we hadn’t spoken in some time other than trading voice mails and emails. Usually when we aren’t communicating somewhat regularly it means something has drawn us away from Christ. I had sensed this, but had done nothing. As I read those words, I began weeping for a brother who needed me desperately. And then, over the course of the next 24 hours, God would begin to show me how wrong and egotistical I really was. You see….my friend didn’t need me, he needed God. He didn’t need me spouting out of my arrogant spiritual pride the “right” things to say. He didn’t need to hear my voice. He needed to hear his Father’s voice. He goes on to say…

“For the last 2-3 years I have not heard from God. I thought God had stopped talking to me.”

He could listen to my voice anytime. It wasn’t my voice he had missed. And then a thought hit me….was I any different. I have to believe that the only safe place to be in my walk with the Lord, is in a place of complete dependence. There have been times in my life that I haven’t heard God due to my disobedience as I have followed what the world says is right. But what about the other end of the spectrum. How many folks do you know that show up for church, do their quiet times, and say their prayers so that their spiritual checklist can get completed each day? I think it’s easy for us to get caught at that point and not be listening either. We blind ourselves with how “good” we are, but forget the obedience. As my friend said later on…..

“… one thing I am sure of--God still speaks to me. I had just stopped listening.”

I have to wonder if maybe I too have stopped listening. Have I gotten so caught up in “doing” the right things, that I have forgotten how to obey? Have I become more concerned with pleasing others, than pleasing my Father? Jill would tell me I’m being too hard on myself – maybe I am. All I know is that thanks to the vulnerability of a dear brother, I am going to live each day striving for more obedience and listening more intently for His voice.

Slackers!!!!

I feel like such a slacker……we were so good at posting there for awhile and now it’s been almost two full months with just a single update. Jill is currently working on our newsletter. At least she has a good excuse, mine is simple laziness. Truth is, I get so busy reading other blogs, that I forget there might be some faithful readers of our own tiny blog out there who might be checking daily and waiting as patiently (or not so) as me for any semblance of an update. I know there are days I will check certain blogs almost hourly just hoping for some news to digest. So, in the off chance that there are people who read this other than my wife, here are some glimpses into the last two months.

We’ll start with January……for those of you who were wondering and/or praying about it, we did re-enroll Dade in preschool. We’re still not sure if we made the right choice, but at least he seems to have adjusted much better and at least pretends to enjoy it most days.

We had several neat family times over the past couple of months. The last weekend in January we got to go with my parents, my brother, his girlfriend and her daughters to Arkansas for an “eagle watching” weekend. It was cold (even for me) and after our first boat ride, we were glad God called us to Africa and not to the Ukraine. The kids had a blast seeing owls, hawks, falcons, and eagles up close – and I do mean close! We’ll try to post some pictures to give you an idea. Our last morning, we were hesitant to go out on another VERY cold boat ride, but the payoff was a close up look at a bald eagle in the wild. Yes dad…..it did make it worth it.

In February, it was business as usual. We simply adjusted back into the school schedule. Jill and Dade got to fly out to Amarillo to visit her parents. Dara and I held things down at home. I think good bonding took place all the way around. I think Dade enjoyed being the center of attention and really enjoyed his own special day with Poppa, without any other grandkids around. I wasn’t there, but I understand the dirt that came off him was proof enough that they enjoyed their day! I’m sure it was just my imagination, but he seemed to have grown a couple of inches while he was gone.

We just completed Spring Break with the kids – probably our last one (or next to last) in the US for awhile. We went down to San Antonio to take them on their first visit to Sea World. Their Aunt Tiff went with us. She was such a huge help to us and the kids enjoyed having their “Coco” with them. We spent a day at Sea World, a day at Fiesta Texas, the Alamo, and some time visiting with some dear friends and relatives while we were there.

We should have some exciting news to share with you soon regarding our assignment with AIM. Until then, we will try to be a little more faithful in updating you on our lives.

Dara is 8!

It's so hard to believe that Dara is 8 years old today. Where has the time gone, really? I remember diapers, lots of tears at bedtimes, watching her walk for the first time, hearing her sing "Jesus Loves Me", losing her first tooth, her first sleep over, and so much more. But the memories seem to fade with time, and I feel as if I would go back in time to watch it all again - if only I knew how. They say that time flies when you're having fun, but I am still surprised to see it is true. To help me remember, and to share a bit with you, here are some pictures of our beautiful, beloved daughter..

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